Beta reading questions for chapters 8-9
Author: Billy Lau // Category:1. The dialogue in this story is okay. On some parts, the dialogue went a little too crazy as in boring. I think you are going a little too over the top with this dialogue thing on some parts. I like how it really reflects how a teenager would talk like. Like I said before about it being boring; that is because there was little to no emotions in it. It did not seem so real when reading the dialogue.
2. The folklore seemed a bit irrelevant. It is cool, don't get me wrong, but also a little cheesy. Magical and mythical stuff do not entertain the teenagers. Some might find it interesting, but most of us think it is lame. I also think you should cut back, and make that folklore part shorter.
3. I think Dorthy's reaction was not realistic at all. It was a little weird and like before, not descriptive. An idea that you might want to add in might be Dorthy's feelings towards Adrian's knowledge on folklore. Was she surprised? Stuff like that.
4. I would say that the cultural elements are sort of forced. Teens do not usually talk about magical stuff anyway, making it seem unrealistic. I think you should change some and add some about the differences between the characters.
5. I personally think that Dorthy should be of another ethnicity who finds Filipino culture interesting. I do know some girls that could relate to her. She is a bit colorless and boring at times, even though I am sure you can add a whole lot more about what she feels like to add more flavor to her.
6. Adrian is alright the way he is. I like how he has a strong knowledge about his background and how he tells his folklore. He is one of the most important charters in the book and therefore should have more feelings.
Ultimately, I would give the story a 6 out of 10. 10 being super awesome and 1 being horrible. Just revise some parts and continue writing. Maybe the rest of the story will improve the whole thing.
2. The folklore seemed a bit irrelevant. It is cool, don't get me wrong, but also a little cheesy. Magical and mythical stuff do not entertain the teenagers. Some might find it interesting, but most of us think it is lame. I also think you should cut back, and make that folklore part shorter.
3. I think Dorthy's reaction was not realistic at all. It was a little weird and like before, not descriptive. An idea that you might want to add in might be Dorthy's feelings towards Adrian's knowledge on folklore. Was she surprised? Stuff like that.
4. I would say that the cultural elements are sort of forced. Teens do not usually talk about magical stuff anyway, making it seem unrealistic. I think you should change some and add some about the differences between the characters.
5. I personally think that Dorthy should be of another ethnicity who finds Filipino culture interesting. I do know some girls that could relate to her. She is a bit colorless and boring at times, even though I am sure you can add a whole lot more about what she feels like to add more flavor to her.
6. Adrian is alright the way he is. I like how he has a strong knowledge about his background and how he tells his folklore. He is one of the most important charters in the book and therefore should have more feelings.
Ultimately, I would give the story a 6 out of 10. 10 being super awesome and 1 being horrible. Just revise some parts and continue writing. Maybe the rest of the story will improve the whole thing.
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